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Advice for a new Dominant in the lifestyle..

Right, so..

I need some help from the Dominants out there!!  I have a Friend in R/L who is just on the brink of entering the Dominance/submission lifestyle.  Yes, yes- i can give the information i know – but I have a submissive’s point of view.  I’m looking for advice from the Dominants out there.

What would You tell a new Dominant entering the lifestyle?  Would You point them to certain books? websites? munches?  What is some practical advice that you may have – and learned over Your journey as a Dom/me?

I’d appreciate Your input , please!  🙂  Click in the comment/reply box 🙂

~connie

 

As we submissives should — kiss the Hand that Holds the Whip (or leash, or belt.. or….)

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3 thoughts on “Advice for a new Dominant in the lifestyle..

  1. Cane on said:

    if your a new Dom, the thing to remember is that you need to get to know a sub. ask the limits,,, and don’t forget that there are thousands of bdsm fetishes, and likes and dislikes,, don’t focus on one, and dismiss the others,, if a sub has a limit and you want to experience that fetish,, it should not be a show stopper,, enjoy what you have in common. If a sub has so many limits that you feel stimied to use her without offending her, let her go. I find that subs that have too much to get around to be close with are not wanting to be close,, let them go. sometime I see subs that have so many “disclaimers” that they probably should be in a cyber sex channel and not in a bdsm channel. Don’t be too impatient like I am,,, lol… I love women and fall in love easy,, oh and you can fall in love on irc,, I once told a sub that “its only IRC its not real” she woke me up by saying “it is real” it becomes part of your reality. New Doms, don’t try to be too Dom, admit you make mistakes, and listen to your subs,, they may be telling you something important about yourslef, OH and don’t take advice from other Doms…. LOL

  2. This new Dominant is coming along very nicely, as far as i know. i just recently had contact with Him. He does have a girl, but mostly in the vanilla sense – so far. This Dominant is coming to grips (after quite a few years) that – He, by nature, is Dominant – and there are actually people out there – living the lifestyle – and what He is feeling – is VERY normal – and *HOT*.

    People that know me, are probably questioning “If this person knows connie, what is taking Him so long to just slip into the BDSM …and/or… D/s world?”.

    Ah well, there are many factors to this.

    One) in this Man’s case — there is a delicate balance of “hot” and “way too much”. a good push will send Him flying off the edge – and scare Him away. Having known Him for years – ive seen this in other situations. Not a good thing.

    Two) He has a girl that He loves and adores. So anything He learns will be of benefit to Him and His r/l relationship. Being that i am not His girl – i can’t just PLUNGE Him into our lifestyle.

    Three) Even if i was His girl , i am submissive. i would have to gently guide Him in, and then step back – allowing Him to be who He is.

    So, there’s the update sooo far on this situation. Every once in awhile – i throw some little aspect of D/s to Him, and He clings onto it. He asks questions. What an exciting place for Him to be. He seems to be on the edge, the brink of learning Who He is. And i’m glad that i can be there – to see Him *Cross over*. 🙂

    Heh 🙂

    ~connie

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